I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
