I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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