Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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