She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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