Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a hot homeless man
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
