I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
