I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
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