Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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