Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
