Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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