Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize