His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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