Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
