Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
