I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
