Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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