Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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