last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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