I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
