Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
