my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
