how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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