dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
zippers are such a cool invention
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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