I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
