she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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