Already got asked if we're dating
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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