K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
