I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
