He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
