we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
