shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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