That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Vodka?
Forever.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
