Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
