So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
