Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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