whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Acid is not a monday night drug
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
