my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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