hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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