wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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