haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
