it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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