I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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