Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
