Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
