you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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