Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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