i already hear my dad disowning me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
