I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
COCAINE IS GR8
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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