can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
