i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.