Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable