Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
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I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...