i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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