4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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