Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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