positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
