Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
