I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
