Me too!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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